Politeness

Politeness means showing respect to those above us in words, gestures, attitude and even thought. Each people and region has its own way of showing it. But they are alike in the bowed head, in words of assent, and in a reverent face.

People treat each other with several levels of feeling, or a scale of feelings, if you like. The negative levels are hatred, contempt, coldness and the like. Drop those negative feelings and you rise gradually to zero, where you pay no attention at all. From zero upward come the positive feelings: mild goodwill, then liking, affection, respect and reverence.

Negative feelings make for instability in society and in our own lives. Anyone who often raises them easily commits wrong and wears down their merit. If we despise or hate people, the law of cause and effect makes us pay. Lightly, we lose all talent. More heavily, we lose all character. More heavily still, we go mad. Despising or hating ordinary people already makes us guilty. Despising or hating a revered saint shatters all the fortunate conditions we have worked hard to build for a long time.

Positive feelings, on the other hand, readily bring us merit. Love people and respect people, and our lives keep rising.

There are distortions of positive feeling, such as fanatical admiration (fans who cause trouble) or romantic love (tied to the sexual instinct), but they go down a different branch, not discussed here.

Every kind of feeling uses up energy in our body and mind. Hating people tires us, and loving people tires us. When tired, we cannot work, or need to rest first to recover our energy. Lovers or married couples deeply in love also have moments of numbness, when their energy runs dry and needs recharging. If people do not understand that love drains energy, they blame each other and things fall apart.

A mind of respect uses far more energy than other feelings. Only someone very "strong" can show constant respect to their elders. That is why children, just as they start to grow up, avoid showing respect to those above them: they are tired enough already. But that is a disaster. Without respect for those above us, the inner self gradually weakens, loses its resistance and falls easily into corruption.

Only a smart, strong child keeps up good manners and politeness through adolescence and on to adulthood.

In religion, believers and monastics are trained in utmost respect, and so they have considerable inner strength. That is why they have a stronger pull on the public than ordinary people do. It is only because their minds are so strong.

Respect for saints and sages, for elders and for those above us is the most positive feeling, the one that uses the most energy, and also the one that brings the most merit. When a child learns early to respect those above, we can be confident that child will find a lot of success later.

Anyone who respects saints supremely will have the inner strength to become a saint in the future. To become a saint is to be very intelligent, very moral, and to contribute greatly to the world.

If there is a mind of respect, it shows in polite words, in humble gestures and in a reverent attitude. All of that is called politeness.

A family that equips its children with politeness equips them with a great fortune for the future. A person who keeps up a culture of politeness preserves their merit for many lives to come.

So let us all learn to bow, to answer with respect, to be well-behaved and reverent, and even, when the time calls for it, to kneel before what is noble and sacred.