Embracing the pain

Number 570 asks:

"Hey, friend, what are you in here for?"

Number 577 answers:

"I was caught up by chance in an embezzlement case and got three years. I didn't take a penny. I was only held responsible by association."

"Why do you look so cheerful for someone in prison? It usually takes two years in here to get used to it and be less sad."

"Well, I believe that wherever you are there's some opportunity worth reflecting on and learning from. Prison is an opportunity too. Since I'm in here, I live fully in here and don't let my mind wander far outside. That keeps my mind at peace."

"Where did you learn this philosophy?"

"I learned it when I was betrayed. The person I loved most in the world, whom I'd cared for completely, left me to marry a rich man. I suffered so much I nearly killed myself. For three days I thrashed around as if caught in a whirlpool with no way out. On the fourth day I suddenly changed how I thought. I stopped looking for a way out and took the pain into my heart. A feeling of relief arose. I kept practicing that, holding the pain instead of trying to escape it, for four more days, and then my suffering was gone.

Since then I've used this method in hard situations. When I'm insulted, I accept the experience. When someone plots against me, I accept that experience too. That way I don't get upset, angry or resentful. When you can stay calm, you make wiser and more ethical decisions.

This time I got the chance to experience prison, and I take it in too, and live it fully, so I'm as happy as I was outside."

"You've surprised me."

We suffer not because we suffer, but because we want to avoid suffering. The more we want to avoid it, the more we suffer. The key is to accept the suffering. Strangely, when we have the courage to accept suffering, we suffer less.

Accepting suffering also means accepting the mistakes we made in the past. The attitude of owning one's faults is a moral one. Because it is moral, it gives us the strength to dissolve the pain.

Sometimes we must work in a position we do not like and keep feeling uncomfortable and discontented, which certainly makes us suffer and the work is no good either. If we accept what we dislike and live fully with it, without thinking of somewhere else, we are at peace at once and the work improves as well.

Sometimes we are struck by a painful illness. Of course we must treat it, but if the mind keeps wanting to be rid of the illness, the suffering increases. If we accept the illness, and of course treat it too, the mind suffers far less.

To embrace pain takes great strength of character in order to hurt less. Those without it will find it hard. It takes great wisdom and morality to be able to hold pain in one's arms.