The spoiled child

The presiding judge asked the defendant to stand to hear the sentence. Although the lawyer had done everything possible, Lưu was still sentenced to 10 years in prison for rape and possession of drugs. Police led Lưu out of the courtroom to the vehicle to serve his sentence. Mr Hoàng slumped with his head on the table, his hands holding his trembling head, but he had no tears left to cry. Danh sat beside him, hugging his father to comfort him.
A court clerk came over, wanting to ask the father and son to leave so that they could prepare for the next hearing, but could not bring himself to say anything. They seemed used to such scenes. In the end Danh managed to help his father up and take him home.
Sitting in the living room, just the two of them, Mr Hoàng poured out his feelings:

• Your mother died when you were only 10 and Lưu was 8. I loved your mother with an absolute love. If it were not for my two sons, I would have killed myself to follow her. But for the sake of you two I had to force myself to live and raise you. You know, without your mother beside me, it was as if I had lost my whole life. But I tried my utmost to make a fortune, hoping your lives would be comfortable. By whatever grace from above, my business went very smoothly and our family kept getting richer. I resolved not to remarry, to stay faithful to your mother. All my love I gave to the two of you, and this fortune would in the end be yours too.
  I gave you the best and most expensive conditions for study. I took care of everything in life for you, the best of everything. I only wanted to see you grow up happy and successful, so that I could depart in peace to follow your mother.
  But did I make some mistake, that Lưu turned into an incorrigible delinquent? If I was wrong, why did you turn out so well-behaved and become a good man? I think and think and can't work it out. I loved the two of you equally, taught you equally, gave you equal conditions for study... But one turned out good and one turned out bad, why?
  Mr Hoàng held his trembling head again.
  Danh's eyes welled with tears and he did not know how to explain.
  Mr Hoàng looked up, his dull eyes lost and vacant, and asked Danh:
• Tell me why you turned out well.
  Danh hesitated, thinking, and then answered:
• Father, I remember once Lưu and I had a fierce quarrel. I found out that he was skipping school to play games, and I scolded him. He said that Father loved him so much he had nothing to worry about. I said that the more Father loved us, the more we brothers should try to be worthy of Father's love. But I think he didn't understand.
  Mr Hoàng's eyes suddenly lit up and he cried out:
• That's it, the key is right there. One who is loved becomes dependent; one who is loved strives to be worthy. Two opposite thoughts separated the two of you in different directions. I was so stupid not to understand this, and so I lost one son, boo hoo.... 🤼‍♂️

Once in parliament, Napoleon shouted to everyone that he was protected by the god of war and the god of luck. We do not know whether, when he believed that, he fell into the illness of dependence or strove to be worthy of the gods' love. But his life did not have a happy ending, so perhaps he fell into the tendency of dependence.

Most of us become dependent when we are sheltered and loved. Very few strive to be worthy of that love. Children are loved by their parents, spouses by their partners, subordinates by their leader, disciples by their master, citizens by their country, believers who think they are loved by the divine... We are happy when we are loved, and we become dependent and then proud. Dependence makes us unwilling to strive and train. A proud heart makes us look down on others. In the end we go into failure and suffering.

A person of wisdom and ethics, on the other hand, feels anxious when loved, for fear of not being worthy of that love. Because of that anxiety, for fear of disappointing those who love them, an ethical person always looks for something to do, some way of living, some way of striving, something to carry out, so that those who love them will be pleased and happy. The more they are loved, the harder they try to cultivate themselves and contribute, and they do not dare to become dependent and spoiled. A person with such ethics will receive even more love. The one who is dependent and proud loses everything in the end.