Giving

Hoàng pulled over, opened the door and got out, took out a banknote, walked up to an old beggar woman, bowed to her properly, placed the note in her hand, said something in her ear, then went back to the car and drove on. The old woman raised her head and her dull eyes followed Hoàng, her lips moving as if saying something. Hồng asked:

• Why go to so much trouble when you give money to a beggar?
  Hoàng replied:
• Because it's my happiness. If I give money to someone without respect, I'm tormented at night and can't sleep.
• But doesn't that take too much time?
• It does take time, dear, but I don't get the chance to give to many people anyway. Whenever I give to someone, I try to give with respect, and then I lose less time lying awake. If I'm not going to give, then I don't; if I give, I must make the person feel they have worth. Don't give in a way that makes someone feel less valued. When my father was alive he taught me these things carefully, so I remember them always.
• Your father must have been wonderful.
• Needless to say. He is a saint in my heart. He taught my siblings and me every small good thing. In those days there were three poor families in our neighbourhood, and whenever he bought sweets or cakes for us, he bought the same for the children of those three families. He often told me to take the gifts over to those houses, and to say affectionate words. To speak as though they didn't need them, and I was only bringing the gifts because I was fond of them, not because they were poor and I was giving alms. The ethics my father taught became my blood. Now my parents have passed away, but my siblings and I still live by those teachings. I believe heaven and earth have fairness, and that if I live ethically as my father taught, my life will succeed. Sometimes there are setbacks, sometimes people scheme against me, but then some stroke of luck helps me through.
  Come to my company some day when wages are handed out and you'll see: I personally give each employee an envelope with their pay and say thank you very respectfully. The employees receive their wages and also the warm regard of the general director. A few found other jobs with higher pay and left me to go to the new place. Within two months they came back asking for their jobs again. They said the pay was higher but they weren't as happy as here. That put me in real distress. Their positions had already been filled; they returned and I had no idea how to arrange things.
  The only joy in my life is helping someone, giving to someone, and giving with respect. I still haven't married because no one agrees with my way of life.
  Hồng laughed and said:
• It's a pity I already have a family. If I didn't, I might follow you. I seem to like this way of living. In my company the bonds among colleagues aren't very close either. Perhaps because my boss is a bit cold. 👴

Our ancestors have a saying, "The way you give is worth more than the gift", which is the same principle. If we have deep ethics, when we give to someone in a time of hardship, we will not give in the manner of charity bestowed from above, but in the manner of "we wish to give": we need to give, rather than the other person needing to receive. Giving like that, we preserve everyone's dignity and self-respect.

Giving is already hard; giving with skilful respect is twice as hard. And of course anything squared becomes very large, and merit squared gives an immeasurable result. Five times two is ten, 5×2=10, but five squared is twenty-five, 5×5=25. The attentive, respectful attitude with which we give magnifies our merit and makes this life worth living.

Many wealthy people look for a house in a "liveable" place, because it has beautiful scenery, a mild climate and full amenities. But that is not it. A liveable place is where people can give to one another with respect and love. A liveable place is not one where everyone is rich and quietly competes in wealth. A liveable place is where rich and poor respect and help one another.