Friends

Ronald's letter:
"Dear Andy, forgive my boldness in writing this letter to you to express something of my feelings. I have long admired you for your kind, honest and intelligent way of life. Almost everyone who comes near you senses something very peaceful and pleasing that you give them. I am the same: whenever I happen to stand near you with other people, I feel a strange gladness.
But however I show my goodwill, you keep your distance from me. I would very much like to be your friend. I would very much like to be a shadow walking beside you, to share with you the sorrows and joys of my life, and to share with you the sorrows and joys of yours.
I do not understand why you keep your heart so tightly closed to me and give me no chance to be a friend to someone I truly cherish.
I hope you, Andy, will give me a chance, or at least give me an answer. Is it because I do not have wealth equal to yours, or a degree equal to yours, that you refuse to befriend me?"

Andy's letter:
"Dear Ronald, thank you, Ron, for writing to me with such touching praise. I do not think I deserve such compliments, because my heart is still not very open or generous. I feel that I am still the narrow-minded, fussy sort of person.
Let me suppose that there are three kinds of relationship in life. The first is with those above us, whom we must respect. The second is with those below us, whom we must look after and love. The third is with those on a level with us, friends for instance, with whom we can behave more freely and casually.
With the people I regard as above me, I am also very demanding. Such a person must be a head above me and a heart above me, so that I must respect them and learn from them. I do not choose those above me by age, qualifications or position. I choose them only by their outstanding intelligence and the depth of their ethics. Once I have regarded someone as above me, I respect them sincerely both to their face and behind their back, and this feeling never changes.
With the people I regard as below me, I am just as demanding. Clearly such a person must fall short of me in spirit, but they must respect me and heed my teaching. In return, I will love and care for them like a younger sibling, ready to worry and toil for them, and this never changes.
As for those I regard as friends, I have my own standards too. Such a person must be equal to me in certain spiritual respects. I do not require them to be equal in wealth or position, but I do require them to be equal to me in certain understandings of life.
I understand that you, Ron, want to be my friend, but to be honest, you do not yet have some of the understandings that I have. For example, once when I and a large crowd were sitting in the park listening to a band play, I saw that you were there too, but you were not paying attention to the music. You did not see all the painstaking work of the musicians in every note they were so skilfully creating. A forest of notes interwoven made something beautiful for the world, but you seemed not to understand any of it.
Once I saw you walking along the street drinking from a can of soft drink; when you finished, you tossed it towards a bin, and when it missed, you did not go back to pick it up and put it in, but just walked on.
Once we were both at the birthday party of an old schoolmate, and I do not know why, but I saw you there too. But you seemed to have forgotten that you were at a birthday party and used the gathering to hang about flirting with a pretty girl, showing no real care for your friend's birthday.
Once I happened to see you on your motorbike collide with a tourist who had come from far away. You argued loudly with the visitor, losing the traditional hospitality of the people of this region.
Since we live in the same town, we keep seeing each other by chance. I am sorry that I have noticed such small things, but they have meant that I have never regarded you as my friend.
My friends must be people whom I judge able to behave kindly towards others on my behalf. My friend must be someone with enough soul to appreciate an orchestral piece with me. My friend must be someone who can pick up a piece of litter in the street before I have had time to. My friend must be someone who cares about the feelings of everyone around them and does not live only for their own emotions...
I have had to be very frank because you asked. I apologise for the bluntness of this letter. But I also hope very much that you will make progress in life. If we live a mediocre life forever, life will fail us in return.
I wish you well."
👥

Although we speak of equality, in truth there are still invisible ranks in this life, in this universe, in heaven and earth. There are people we respect, people we love, people we must learn from, people we must admonish, people we must ask for help, and people we must shelter.
Friendship, by contrast, is a very strange relationship, very equal and open, which creates a feeling of ease. We do not have to respect our friends as we do those above us. We do not have to be solemn with our friends as we are with a younger sibling. We can be casual, even a little rude, even a little mischievous, for fun. That friendly frame of mind is why many people prefer to spend time with friends rather than with family. The pity is that our friends are hardly better than we are, and sometimes they even lead us astray into dissolute play. So although friendship is relaxed, it must still be handled with great care.