Feelings

"The heart has its reasons which reason does not understand." So a Western philosopher said.

Indeed! Consciousness seems unable to fully understand how the feelings of love and hatred work within us. Why is it that the moment we meet a stranger, a dislike suddenly arises in our mind? Why, on glimpsing a figure far off, does our heart stir with emotion? Before consciousness has had time to say a word, feeling is already dancing, whirling and crying out.

Scientists have found substances that influence human feelings. For example, Dr Liebowitz found that when the brain produces phenylethylamine, affection naturally wells up in the heart. Some feelings of hatred, irritation and discomfort are also linked to substances in the body. The relationship may well run in both directions: because a feeling arises, the substance is produced; and conversely, when the substance is produced (or injected), the feeling arises.

When a substance that promotes love of offspring was injected into mother rats, their love for their young was seen to increase markedly. This substance appears in large amounts when a woman gives birth.

That is the proximate cause acting on the feelings of living beings. The deeper cause remains hidden in the law of karma.

Another proximate cause worth noting is the psychology that gives rise to feeling.

For example, when a young man sees a beautiful girl, a film star, a rich man's daughter, a clever and talented girl... a fondness arises in his heart, together with a wish to possess her. That fondness comes from the innate self-centred mentality of human beings, who always want to grab as much as possible of everything good in the world for themselves. That fondness is merely a consequence of greed!

In another case, some girls suddenly feel uncomfortable about a contestant who has just won the title of national beauty queen. This feeling of jealous dislike is a consequence of the secret envy among women, which is quite ordinary.

Sometimes a young woman tries to win a man's affection and does not succeed. From fondness she suddenly becomes bitterly hostile and looks for a way to take revenge to her heart's content. Thus this woman's fondness or hatred is entirely a matter of selfish greed, not true love.

When we examine human feelings of love and hate, we find that all of them come from a self-centred mentality. Whatever satisfies our desire gives rise to liking. Whatever blocks our desire gives rise to hatred. Human feeling is only a trick played by the attachment to self hidden behind it.

Precisely because they see the true nature of this feeling, the holy sages always call for unconditional love: a love that asks nothing for oneself, that purely gives and sacrifices, a love entirely free of self. However, to go beyond the deep-seated attachment to self in the unconscious instinct (see "What Are the Five Aggregates?"), we must work hard at meditation practised by the correct method. It is by no means easy for a person to go beyond attachment to self and attain a boundless great compassion that covers and loves everyone. That great compassion is the true love, one that sacrifices wholly for others without hoping for anything in return for oneself.

For ordinary people like us, what matters is to try to control our greedy and selfish mentality, and to examine ourselves closely to see whether our love for others hides some scheme or profiteering deep inside. For we almost only love what brings us benefit. Where there is no benefit to us, love is absent(!). Whoever plots against us, we will hate. Whoever helps us, we will love. That is the ordinary rule that no one can get beyond.

We want to seek a noble truth, a vast path of aspiration. Let us try to forgive and "love those who hate us" (the Gospel), and to love those who actively help us once we have filtered out the thought "because they bring benefit to me".

Besides the proximate causes, feelings also arise from karmic affinities of the past.

A venerable monk was invited by a donor family to live with them and was respectfully and fully provided for, so that he could practise with peace of mind. After a long time the two sides came to hate each other fiercely, and the monk had to leave. The cause was found to be that in a previous life the family had received a kindness from the monk, so in this life they had to support him to repay it. Naturally, before inviting the monk to stay, they must have felt a deep reverence and affection for him. After they had finished repaying the debt of the past, they felt the monk was a burden to the family. The fondness vanished, dislike took its place, and then the monk had to leave.

Thus feelings in this life sometimes come from a debt of the past. When someone suddenly takes a liking to us and helps us, we should not hurry to conclude that we have many fine qualities. Sometimes it is only because they owe us some kindness and are in the period of repaying it. Once it is repaid, the feeling will vanish. Understanding this, we will remain calm when we see people at one moment warm toward each other and at another indifferent.

Similarly, insulting and abusive words from a previous life, and killing or seizing from the past, also cause a victim's hatred in this life. We say something careless and make a person lose face. Then the matter sinks into oblivion. But in the next life, the moment they see our face, a strange dislike arises in that person's mind toward us, and they themselves do not know why. It is not certain that their dislike will cause us trouble, but the dislike is still there. So on this endless road of rebirth, let us try to avoid displeasing or offending others, so as to avoid resentment later on.

Most famous figures in society, such as successful politicians, are liked and admired by many people. The cause of this admiration may be traced to generous kindnesses given in earlier lives. So many people received their favours that in a later life they feel bound to support them in reaching a position on the political stage through votes or some other way of campaigning.

That is not all: if, during their time in politics, they keep their good name, the public's affection will last through many lives to come.

When comparing the life of the king of rock music, Elvis Presley, historians were astonished to find that Elvis Presley's face was identical to the statue of an ancient Egyptian king. That Egyptian king lived in a place named Memphis in Egypt. Elvis lived in Memphis in America. That Egyptian king worshipped the Sun God in place of other deities, while Elvis became famous with his first record label, "Sun". Elvis Presley was so admired by the public that after his death, people asked President Carter to hold a solemn state funeral for him.

Could it be that the lingering effect of having been a king in the distant past still rests on the feelings of the crowd, even though Elvis Presley has now become a new kind of king, the King of Rock?

Under the law of karma, a king can still become an artist if during his reign he favoured artists to excess. Later he becomes an artist so as to be favoured in return.

There are two causes that lead to attracting people's affection.

One is a person with a vast loving-kindness, who always loves, treats everyone kindly and behaves gently toward them. In the next life they have a gentle, kind and wonderfully lovable face, and anyone who sees them feels drawn to them.

The other is a person who is diligent in charitable work through reason. Their heart does not have much sentiment, but their reason is very clear; they always take the trouble to accumulate merit and always take the trouble to help others. In a later life they too are loved by many people (who have received their help), although their faces look firm and shrewd rather than naturally gentle as in the first case.

There is a kind of feeling that is mentioned most of all in the cultural works of humankind: love between men and women. This is perhaps a more intense feeling than the others because it relates to a deep human instinct. First, people always want to possess the type of person who can bring them happiness (self-centred psychology): a person who is beautiful, talented, wealthy and tactful. Second, love between the sexes carries the silent urging of sexual activity, the activity that gives the most evident physical pleasure. Apart from the needs of food and drink, the human physiological system has set up a demand to be satisfied by sexual pleasure. So men and women are always looking for a suitable partner with whom to exchange this pleasure. Sometimes love and marriage lead to sexual activity. Sometimes they come together only for pleasure and for payment.

In any case, karmic affinities from the past govern this kind of feeling too.

If there truly is a bond of debt, the two people will love each other sincerely and go on to marry, to finish repaying the debt of the past (and go on creating debts for the future).

If there is no debt, only an affinity, they will love each other for a stage, then run into obstacles, and the feeling will gradually fade over the years.

Sometimes there is only one-sided love. One person dreams of the other but is not answered. They find in the other the standards of beauty and suitable character, and want that person to become theirs, but since there was no affinity from a previous life, they receive no response at all.

But love, too, is only the surface of the selfish, pleasure-seeking nature of human beings. The very instinct for pleasure that drives men and women to seek each other also drives them to make each other suffer. How many marriages involve quarrelling and beating, how many involve adultery and killing each other, leaving the children forlorn and suffering.

If, alongside love, they have a little true affection of sacrifice, generosity and living for others, that love can lose some of the gloomy colour of selfish instinct. They know how to forgive and understand each other so as to build happiness together. If true affection is lacking, love alone is only the embodiment of emotion, sexuality and self-centredness. Today, husbands and wives divorce easily, commit adultery easily and torment each other easily because their love lacks true altruistic affection.

Then adultery, divorce, making the children suffer and tormenting one another become bad karmic causes for the next life.

One who takes another's wife is easily deprived of his own wife in return. One who torments his wife will fall into rebirth as a woman to be tormented in return. One who divorces and abandons his children will become an orphan in the next life.

Perhaps Schopenhauer was right when he said that "only true philosophers live happily in marriage, but alas, if they are true philosophers, they will never marry."

Even within our own families we see that parents' love for their children is not equal. One child is given priority and much love by the parents. Beside that child is another who is neglected and given little attention. It all depends only on how much or how little kindness there was in the past. Whichever child the parents bear the heavier debt of kindness to, that child they love more.

There are also cases in a family where one child is hated bitterly and is beaten and scolded regularly, even though it is their own child. This is only revenge coming back. In a previous life, when that child was a parent, it treated its own children cruelly. In this life, karmic conditions push it into a family with rough, surly, violent parents so that it has to endure again the suffering it caused others.

To look for equality and evenness in this life is a utopian pursuit, because people's karmic affinities are not the same. Some have much merit, some have little; all are different. A person with merit always draws the attention and affection of everyone, whereas a person lacking merit seldom receives a warm look from anyone, let alone favoured treatment.

Even some monastics are criticised for being effusive toward the rich and indifferent toward the poor. They find it hard to treat equally everyone who comes seeking comfort in faith, simply because their followers' merit differs so greatly. Only monastics who have attained a profound spiritual power, enough to rise above everyone's differing karma, can treat everyone equally. They will not be indifferent to one and attentive to another. All are loved alike.

Thus equality is a self-aware "moral attitude" of each person, not a mechanism for levelling out entitlements. Levelling out entitlements is not equality. We need to distinguish carefully between the meanings of these two categories.

When we call for an equal society, we mean that we call on people to develop a high degree of morality so that they can treat those with merit and those lacking merit with equal favour; we do not mean that equality is making everyone's entitlements the same. Why? Because those who contribute more effective effort to society must receive more of the benefits. Levelling out entitlements is an injustice that reduces everyone's enthusiasm for work and drags society into decline. No one accepts that the lazy and the less talented should enjoy the same benefits as the diligent and the skilled.

Equality, then, is "morality in dealing with others": it helps us to be polite, courteous and respectful toward everyone. However, to achieve this we need to reach a depth of meditation and a purity of mind that frees us from being drawn in by everyone's differing merit and karma. A person with merit will draw us more than a person lacking merit. We must have enough spiritual power to escape this hidden attraction so as to maintain equal love for everyone.

Feelings also tend to recur. With people who loved each other in a previous life, affection arises easily when they meet again in this life. Sometimes two people were once husband and wife. In this life their bond as husband and wife has run out, but when they meet, they still feel a warmth hard to describe, even though they must remain apart. The same holds for the love between brothers, friends, father and child, and teacher and student.

Some monastics feel fond of certain lay followers and want them to become ordained disciples under them. But the bond between teacher and student is one of many lives and cannot be forced. If there is no deep affinity between them, that disciple will also leave to look for another teacher. Understanding this, a teacher always stays calm in front of those who come asking to learn the Way, since not all of them have the affinity to be lifelong attached disciples.

In sum, feeling is the result of past karmic affinities and a consequence of the secret selfish psychology within. What we need to aim for is a kind of love that covers everyone. That love does not come from selfish instinct and goes beyond the entangling bonds of many lives.

If many people in this world could reduce their self-centred instinct, they would help create a fine model for the world community: solidarity.

Because of self-centred instinct, people are jealous, divisive and competitive, always seeking to stand alone at the top and crush others. People compete over every word. Religious sects spare no words in criticising one another. Political forces use every trick to destroy one another. Even under one roof, brothers fight, and in a society, its members envy one another.

Everyone wants to be far ahead of others in wealth, status and fame.

This world is a vivid picture of division. Economic conglomerates bring one another down. States and ethnic groups secede from one another. Sometimes, over a dispute about language, a province or two demand to secede from the national community. Every country wants its own language to become the world language.

Here the ego has swollen to become my family, my religion, my doctrine, my language... And no "I" is willing to yield to another "I". So people go on dividing, splitting and hating one another.

Fortunately, though, people still have reason. Instead of continuing to compete and divide in search of a sole victory, they have seen that the result is the opposite: loss and failure. They begin to turn toward cooperation so as to achieve greater success. Multinational companies are formed. Europe prepares to unify. The great powers cooperate closely in space technology and the protection of the environment. Many international charitable associations are founded.

That is a result of human civilisation. As human thinking develops further, and reason gradually rises beyond the ego's restraint, people see clearly the mistake of divisive, hostile attitudes. Only cooperation and solidarity bring benefit to one another. Whoever goes on sleeping in an attitude of standing alone and dividing will fail, fall behind and eliminate themselves from the progress of humankind.

In daily life, if we are not alert, we too can very easily cause division among people. Sometimes we speak ill of an absent person in front of many others just because it amuses us to talk. But that makes the absent person disliked. And so the seed of division has appeared.

Sometimes, in defending our own religion, we attack another religion and make society more deeply divided. Let us beautify our religion by perfecting the practice of our own followers rather than seeking to run down other religions. If you want your house to be beautiful, build it yourself; there is no need to go and knock down other people's houses. If you want to be respected, cultivate your precepts and conduct rather than worry about lowering others' reputations.

A few people suffer from a strange psychological illness: they like to sow discord. Seeing others be affectionate with one another, they find ways to jab and poke so as to cause suspicion and division. This psychological illness seems to arise from a deeply hidden knot in the unconscious, a sense of loneliness. They are lonely and forgotten, and do not want anyone to be happily united. But the more they create such causes, the lonelier, more solitary and more unhappy they will become.

The world has become small. The relationship between human communities grows closer all the time. People need to unite and put an end to division. A great good karmic result awaits those who contribute to the solidarity of everyone. And the work of creating solidarity must be understood as between individuals in daily life, between races, religions and organisations, and finally between humans and animals. All need to unite and love one another.