In the end, even this mind is not “I”

A person who goes deeply into the spiritual life will see that the body is not “I”, and then that even the mind is not “I”, and that each thought in the head is not ours either. Why are thoughts not ours, when we clearly are the ones thinking? Once we understand, we see that it is truly so.

For example, when we are fast asleep we sometimes have dreams.

- The dream is created by our mind, and we have no intention of creating it.

- Can we direct and arrange the dream as we wish?

- No, it arranges itself.

- Then is it ours?

- No.

In the depths of consciousness, the dream is completely independent. When we are fast asleep, consciousness operates by itself, and we cannot control it.

Or take the phenomenon of possession by a spirit. A person possessed loses awareness and cannot control their words, thoughts or actions. Or someone suddenly becomes irritable and quarrelsome for no reason, and the cause is a spirit that has gone too long without being given offerings of food, and has acted on the mind of the living person, making them erratically angry.

Or we want to think good thoughts, yet the mind thinks bad ones by itself; we want not to think, yet consciousness never stops (except in a noble one who has realised the Way). We are not master of our own mind. If this mind were truly ours, under our complete control, no one could influence it.

There are also cases where a person's mind is held in check by devas of the heavenly realms; this is very secret. When we revere the Buddha's teachings, live ethically, live for others, practise diligently and create merit, our mind does not think wildly because the devas restrain it. They do not let us think wrongly so that we do not lose merit and can go forward in practice.

Once we understand to this depth, we are even more deeply convinced that the mind too is truly not ours: it is fragile, easily changed, prone to wrong thoughts, easily influenced, and sometimes also positively influenced by those above. Thus, not only is this body borrowed and temporary, but even the flickering, invisible mind is not ours. Only when this teaching has sunk in deeply can we enter the profound spiritual life. Otherwise, however diligently we practise, we are still only standing outside the door of the Way.

We may go to the temple to bow to the Buddha, chant sutras, do voluntary work and perform many good deeds, but all of that is only a basic stepping stone. From there we must advance higher through reflection on the teaching of non-self: money, family, property, honour, status, affection... none of it is ours. Then, gradually reaching the depths of the spiritual life, we will see that this body is not “I”, and that even this mind is not “I”.

Every day, sit in the full lotus posture, be clearly aware of the whole body, keep the body soft and still, contemplate this body as impermanent and reflect:

This body is not me

This mind is not me

Nothing is me

In every in-breath

In every out-breath

With complete reverence for the Buddha.

Until we have realised this far, however devoted our heart may be, we will remain very far from the Buddha.

Many people also try to reflect in this way, but in reality, because the mind is not yet pure and still, they remember at one moment and forget at another; when something happens they still cling and are troubled, and only when they suddenly remember do they fumble to remind themselves that nothing is ours. To make the mind pure and still, practise meditation with diligent focus; only then will we be deeply convinced that nothing is ours any more, and that even what is closest to us, this very body and mind, is temporary, fragile and impermanent. Even all the good things we are able to do belong to heaven and earth and to the Buddhas, who have entrusted them to us only to look after.